Football

Like the rest of Europe, the Swiss love Football, and last weekend I was fortunate enough to get to watch a live match from the comfort and luxury of a Corporate Box.

Rugby is the game of choice in NZ, but for some reason in my 27 years of living there I never actually got around to seeing a live stadium match. So last weekend was my first big sporting event and it was incredible, and not just because of the decadent buffet and imported Australian wines.

The match was between the home-team St Gallen and the visiting Zurich, and while Zurich is over an hour away their fans showed up in force, all dressed in team colors and relegated to their own cordoned section of the stadium. The die-hard St Gallen fans also had their designated section, prudently placed as far away from the Zurichers as possible. Apparently opposing soccer fans can be less than cordial with one another.

So while the fans were finding their seats, we were enjoying a second helping at the buffet, and more complementary wine, until the fan fares sounded and the teams were led out onto the field amongst the raucous cries of the crowd. We took this as our cue to find our seats and settled in to watch the Beautiful Game. And then the drums began...

The Zurich fans had brought with them great war drums, vibrant flags and battle cries loud enough to echo throughout the stadium. Not to be outdone by the visitors, the St Gallen fans responded with drums and chants of their own. The soccer game below almost faded into insignificance before these two mighty armies, battling each other with chant and drum, and the occasional incendiary device. But these early displays were nothing compared to the reactions to the goals and penalties to come.

At half-time St Gallen was in the lead, and while thousands of fans descended into the bowels of the stadium to fight their way towards the bars and beer stalls, we retreated to the relative safety of the Corporate Box for dessert and coffee. A few minutes later the battle resumed, and now suitable refreshed, the fans resumed their chants and taunts in earnest.

The game continued with both teams and fans putting on an excellent display, but nearing the 90th minute Zurich were leading by two goals, much to the chagrin of the St Gallen fans. Noting the tension in the crowd we opted to leave a few minutes earlier, before the angry masses surged into the parking lots. This turned out to be a wise decision as the fans later went on to blockade a bridge in protest of the way the match was reffed and the actions of the police during half-time.

All in all a fantastic night!

Language

The Swiss don't speak German and who ever told you that is a lying bastard.

Switzerland is a multilingual country, with four official languages, French, German*, Italian and Romansh - though to be fair less then 1% of the population speak Romansh.

*Except they don't speak German. Oh they can, they just don't. They speak Swiss-German, which is like the difference between an standard issue Army knife, and a Swiss-Army knife.

These languages aren't evenly spread throughout the country however, but are instead localized near the boarders of the four countries that border Switzerland. (Ok, so its five countries, but as mentioned earlier, Liechtenstein doesn't really count.) So to the west is France, and in the western parts of the Switzerland they all speak French, the roadsigns are all in French and the advertising is all in French. To the south is Italy, and in the southern parts they all speak Italian, with roadsigns and advertising also in Italian. (Oh, and just as a warning, the transition from one language to another while travelling though the country is pretty abrupt.)

Now, to the North and East are Germany and Austria (and Liechtenstein!), which German are speaking countries, so it would make sense that to the North-East of Switzerland they would all speak German, right? Wrong. Oh, all the roadsigns and advertising are in German, the television and Radio is in German, the movies are in German, but the important thing here is, these Swiss don't actually speak German. The speak Swiss-German.

So what is Swiss-German? Well Wikipedia describes it as any of the Alemannic dialects spoken in Switzerland, or a group of dialects of the Upper German branch of the Germanic language family. Others have less politely described it not so much as a language in itself but more as a throat disease. Essentially Swiss-German is a heavily accented dialect of standard German which only superficially resembles German, at least from a tourists point of view.

I'm told that once I've learnt German, Swiss-German will be easy, its just a matter of shifting some vowels around, dropping some syllables and clearing my throat more frequently. I remain skeptical however. Some of the Germans that I've met have confessed they can't understand their Swiss neighbors, and Swiss-German speakers on TV or in movies are usually dubbed or subtitled if shown in Germany.

So why don't I just learn Swiss-German? Well for one Swiss-German is not a written language. In the 600 or so years the Switzerland has been around they've never bothered to write anything down. Well ok, thats not entirely true, they use standard German when writting, but for speaking is all Swiss-German. So at home children learn to speak Swiss-German, and then at school they learn to read and write in German. This seems to work fine for them, for me its a nightmare.

I've been learning German here for about six weeks now, and had taught myself a little back in NZ. I've gotten to the point where I can understand and reply to fairly simple German phrases, enough to get by day to day, if I was in Germany. The problem is everyone around me is speaking that unintelligible Swiss-German. Luckily, while I might not be able to understand a word they are saying, they can usually understand my halting, mangled German. But then instead of replying in German, they can usually tell they I actually speak English, so switch to that for my benefit. It turns out the fifth language of Switzerland is English, they just don't tend to advertise it.

Click to enlarge.

Liechtenstein

Not far from where I'm staying in Switzerland is a little country called Liechtenstein, and when I say little, I mean tiny. Its listed as the sixth smallest independent nation in the world, and the smallest country bordered two other countries. Its so small, when my partner pointed it out to me the other day this is how the conversation went...

Her: "And over there is Liechtenstein."

Me: "Oh, you mean on the other side of those ranges?"
Her: "No, just there."
Me: "Oh you mean it IS those ranges?"

Her: "No, right there."

Me: "Oh, you mean just that hill side?"

Her: "Yes, but now we've gone passed it, thats Austria again now."

Liechtenstein is only 24 Km long, and maintains no military forces, so I jokingly suggested to my partner that the Swiss should invade and claim is as their own. To which she rightly replied "why bother?" They have no natural resources and already act as a conveniently close tax haven that also uses the Swiss Franc. Other fun Liechtenstein facts, they are the world largest producer of false teeth and they have twice as many registered companies as citizens.

There's not all that much to see and do in Liechtenstein, but in my quest to have a beer in every country (6 down 227 to go), we just had to stop in for a look. The country-side and architecture were pretty similar to Switzerland, but with perhaps slightly more castles per square km. The people were friendly and there was plenty of art and sculptures on display in the capital city Vaduz. But the highlight of the trip however was undertaking that most sacred ritual that all tourists to Liechtenstein are encouraged to partake in, I had my Passport stamped at the information kiosk :)

Money (Part 2)

As mentioned in my previous post, the Swiss are known for money, and rightly so.

Nearly everything over here costs roughly twice as much as in NZ, there are some notable exceptions however. Beer is actually cheaper over here and in fact is probably the cheapest beverage you can buy. Its also and its pretty damn tasty as well. Meat on the other hand cost about three times as much, while petrol is about the same as in NZ.

But the average grocery bill, accommodation costs, or shopping total is going to be about double what it would be in New Zealand. So whats the difference? Well for one the quality of goods and services over here is incredible. Food is still food, but with things like clothes and appliances they don't have the cheap imitation knock offs and everything isn't stamped with Made in China. They are all good high quality brands that will last longer and work better. Entertainment, like the movies or water-parks are likewise expensive but you get a lot of value for money, everything is clean, tidy and well maintained.

ATMs serve as another reminder that the Swiss just have more money. When making a withdraw you're presented with a number of fast cash options, the lowest value being 100 Swiss Francs, or roughly $130 NZD. Incidentally, the ATMs also give you the options of withdrawing cash in Euros, which is bloody handy considering there are three different countries within a one hour drive of where I'm living.

Money

The Swiss are known for many things, expensive watches, expensive chocolates, expensive ski resorts and of course the money to afford all these things.

If you're planning a trip to Switzerland, you'd better pack a lot of cash, because foreign currency doesn't really buy a lot over here. Its not that all of the Swiss are filthy stinking rich, I've met plenty farmers here who were merely filthy and stinking, but its just they seem to get paid a lot more for what ever it is they are doing. And then to balance this everything here cost a whole lot more. So all in all the Swiss standard of living is not all that different to New Zealand, the difference is however when a Swiss goes to NZ for a holiday they can afford to buy a winery of two while they are down there. Whereas when a Kiwi heads to Switzerland, they'll be lucky to afford a glass of wine with dinner.

Another thing the Swiss are known for is their banking, and as such I was very keen to open my own Swiss Bank Account, just to say I had one. The process was remarkable fast, just hand over a passport and then sign here, here and here. Then within a week they sent me my very own Swiss Eftpos card. Depositing money is also a breeze, just walk up with the cash to the teller and she does the rest, no fiddly little slips of deposit paper like in NZ.

Retrieving your money however is another matter, this is where Swiss security and secrecy comes in. In order to activate both my eftpos card and online banking account I had to wait for a series of separate security codes to be delivered by courier, which I then had to sign for and decipher. And now each time I want to check my online balance I need to use a special decoder ring... well actually its a wallet sized card that tells me which password to use today. Its a bit of a nuisance, but like everything is Switzerland it works and it works well.